One year in the books.

Whew!

The first year’s behind us. They say (whoever “they” are…) that if you make it through the first year, the rest of the years are a piece of cake! Well, we did it! Today we’ve been married a year. It’s absolutely insane how fast time flies. I thought, to commemorate the date, I’d write a little blog about what I’ve learned my first year as a wife.

I don’t know nearly as much about marriage, wifelyhood, servitude, obedience, patience, or grace as I thought I did before I was married.

This, from Cindy this morning, sums it up:
“Marriage isn’t supposed to make you happy, it’s supposed to make you holy.”
True, true. Happiness is a by product of holiness, but the Lord is the joy-giver.

It’s more important for me to be obedient to the Lord in my submission to my husband, than RIGHT. Ouch, that’s a toughie.

Sports center is NOT the enemy. Neither is Golf. :) I would rather have a happy husband that an empty trashcan. After all, he gives me grace even when the laundry is waist deep!

Silly is the best way to be.

A man with a lot of underwear is a gem indeed. And one who wears things multiple times before considering them “dirty” is to be praised.

Girl time is still just as necessary post- “I do” as it was pre- “I do.”

He didn’t marry Betty Crocker. And I don’t have to pretend to be her…. Sometimes the best dinners are PB&J with chips.

Pre-marital counseling is easy… but everyone should invest in post-marital counseling the first year. It allows you to “duke it out” with a referee.

Marriage is a process…


It’s interesting to me to see people who aren’t married and those who are and to see that there is no way to explain to those who aren’t how it is to be. They just have to wait till they are to be able to see how it is. Maybe it’s like heaven in that respect.

I thought I knew a lot about how I would be or it would be, and it is different than what I thought. And others I've talked to say the same. Again and again, I am reminded that this life is not about me, but about the Lord and His glory. It’s about being stretched and chiseled- both of which can be painful, but both of which produce a beautiful holiness…. a likeness less like self and more like the Savior.

In anything, but especially marriage, it’s easy to look at unbelievers and think, “wow, they’ve got it so easy—everything is just so simple and smooth for them.” But I think I’ve learned a lot about trials and that they are from the Lord BECAUSE he loves us. It’s easy to consider those who have an "easy" situation, Blessed. But for those of us who live in the real world, who face trails of all kinds, we can cling to Romans 5:3, “we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” We can be excited and thankful over trials! Not that it's easy or anything...

So many of the Believers that I have spoken with, both young and old, have a testimony of chiseling and stretching during their early years of marriage. I think it is a sweet thing to see believers molded in this way, because in Hebrews 12, we are given insight into what is taking place. “Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

What a Joy it is to be refined by the Lord! To be challenged and not to be left the same as we were. To look forward to the day of harvest when the growing that is happening now will be gathered up and presented to the Lord as a magnificent gift.

Marriage is fun-- I'd recommend it. Just make sure you stay within the fence.