Please Pray

Please pray for my pricipal, Jo Mayer and her husband Charlie (who is the assistant principal at Lexington High where I graduated) as they are going through a time that I cannot begin to fathom.

Copied from "Thestate.com":

Brother, sister mourned after crash

Educators’ children die in I-77 wreck

By ADAM BEAM
Staff Writer

The only son and daughter of two Lexington 1 school administrators died in a traffic accident Friday on I-77 in Fairfield County.
Carrie Mayer-Cowan, 29, and Benjamin Mayer, 23, died after their 2006 Toyota Scion crossed the median on I-77 and was hit on the passenger side by a Dodge Durango, according to Lance Cpl. Dwight Green with the South Carolina Highway Patrol. Troopers did not know why their car traveled across the median.
Both died at the scene, Fairfield County Coroner Joe Silvia said.
The two were the children of Jo Mayer, principal of White Knoll High School, and Charles Mayer, an assistant principal at Lexington High school.
Carrie Mayer-Cowan was a chemistry teacher at Hanahan High School in Berkeley County. Benjamin Mayer was an engineer at Mabry Engineering in Five Points. Both had graduated with honors from Lexington High School.
At his home Sunday night in Lexington, Charles Mayer was holding fast to memories of his family.
He recalled how, for a $75 upgrade fee, an Alamo rental car salesperson in Phoenix let him rent a Cadillac for his family’s 1992 vacation — with unlimited mileage.
“The Mayer family has been known to do vacation in attack mode,” he said. “We turned the vehicle back in after about two weeks, and it went from 400 miles on it to a little over 5,200 miles on it.
“But we saw the West.”
The Mayers say that community support in response to their loss has been tremendous.
“The house has been full,” Jo Mayer said. “The night we got the news, we were at my brother’s house, and people started arriving then just before we even had a handle on anything. Since we’ve been at home, it’s just been people constantly, and we appreciate that. That’s the kind of support that we need and will continue to need.”
Carrie Mayer-Cowan was in love with nature, a passion that led her to teach at the Catalina Island Marine Institute off the coast near Los Angeles. There she met her husband, Joe Cowan, and the two bounced across the country studying wildlife and biology.
Cowan said his wife was a gentle perfectionist — only getting angry at herself when she “didn’t realize how perfect she was.” Cowan said his grief is still so new that it will take a while “for it to really seem real.”
“I think the times I hurt the worst are not even now but the next months and years when I think about what our life would have been like together,” he said.
Benjamin Mayer was a year out of Clemson, working at Mabry Engineering. His parents remember him for the novel he started when he was 12, his SAT team’s state championship and his volunteer work with the S.C. Wildlife Federation.
“Carrie was probably more outgoing, more assured of herself,” Charles Mayer said. “Ben was more reserved, but he’d trick you when he had a chance.”
The Mayers have started the Mayer-Cowan Scholarship Fund as a memorial. Donations may be sent to the Lexington School District 1 Education Foundation, care of Connie McFarland, P.O. Box 1869, Lexington, SC 29701.
Memorials may also be sent to the S.C. Wildlife Federation at 2711 Middleburg Drive, Suite 101, Columbia, SC 29204.
Reach Beam at (803) 771-8405 or abeam@thestate.com.

Benjamin E. Mayer
LEXINGTON — Services for Benjamin E. Mayer, 23, will be held Tuesday, December 20, 2005, at 11:00 a.m. at St. Stephen’s Lutheran Church with interment to follow in Providence Lutheran Church Cemetery. The family will receive friends Monday, December 19, 2005, from 5:00 until 8:00 p.m. at Caughman-Harman Funeral Home, Lexington Chapel. Memorials may be made to The Mayer Cowan Scholarship Fund of Lexington School District #1 Education Foundation, in care of Connie McFarland at PO Box 1869, Lexington, SC 29071 or the S.C. Wildlife Federation at 2711 Middleburg Drive, Suite 101, Columbia, SC 29204.
Benjamin died Friday, December 16, 2005. Born in Lexington County, he was the son of Charles A. and Nancy Jo Harmon Mayer. He was a 2000 Honor Graduate of Lexington High School. While there, he was a member of the 1999 State Championship SAT Team and the Wildcat Staff. He was a National Merit Commended Student. In 2004, he graduated from Clemson University with a B.S. Degree in Civil Engineering.
Benjamin was employed with Mabry Engineering of Columbia. He was a member of and often volunteered with the SC Wildlife Federation. He was a gifted artist and writer with a passion for life and natural warmth that brought a smile to all he encountered. Benjamin was a member of St. Stephen’s Lutheran Church.
Surviving are his parents, Charles A. and Nancy Jo Harmon Mayer of Lexington and paternal grandparents, Albert and Ethel Mayer of Peak. He was joined in death with his sister, Carrie Mayer-Cowan and preceded in death by maternal grandparents, Royce H. “Buster” and Winnie Seay Harmon and paternal grandmother, Margaret Weaks Mayer. Other family members are aunts and uncles, Pam and Bob Harmon, of Lexington and Luanne and Jim Mayer of Peak.

Carrie E. Mayer-Cowan
CHARLESTON — Services for Carrie E. Mayer-Cowan, 29, will be held Tuesday, December 20, 2005, at 11:00 a.m. at St. Stephen’s Lutheran Church with interment to follow in Providence Lutheran Church Cemetery. The family will receive friends Monday, December 19, 2005, from 5:00 until 8:00 p.m. at Caughman-Harman Funeral Home, Lexington Chapel. Memorials may be made to The Mayer Cowan Scholarship Fund of Lexington School District #1 Education Foundation, in care of Connie McFarland at PO Box 1869, Lexington, SC 29071 or the S.C. Wildlife Federation at 2711 Middleburg Drive, Suite 101, Columbia, SC 29204.
Carrie died Friday, December 16, 2005. Born in Lexington County, she was the daughter of Charles A. and Nancy Jo Harmon Mayer. She was a 1994 Honor Graduate of Lexington High School. While there, she was an active participant in student government. As a varsity cheerleader, she was on two State Championship teams and competed at the national level. She was a member of the LHS Track Team in the High Jump Event. She also participated in the Teacher Cadet Program. In 1998, she graduated from the College of Charleston with a B.S. Degree in Biology.
After graduation, she followed a career path that allowed her to fulfill her passion for the earth’s oceans and for all of nature. For two years, she worked as a Marine Science Educator for the Catalina Island Marine Institute, off the coast of Los Angeles, CA. During that time, she was also an Education Intern at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. After leaving Catalina, she taught Marine Science at the Marine Resources Development Foundation of Key Largo, FL.
After that, she sought to share her passion for wildlife with students in the public schools of South Carolina. Her first teaching job was at St. John’s High School in Charleston. Most recently, she taught Chemistry at Hanahan High School in Berkley County. While teaching, she was pursuing a degree in Educational Leadership at The Citadel. Carrie was a member of St. Stephen’s Lutheran Church in Lexington, the SC Marine Educator’s Association and the SC Wildlife Federation.
Surviving are her husband, Joe Cowan of Charleston; parents, Charles A. and Nancy Jo Harmon Mayer of Lexington and paternal grandparents, Albert and Ethel Mayer of Peak. She was joined in death with her brother, Benjamin E. Mayer and preceded in death by maternal grandparents, Royce H. “Buster” and Winnie Seay Harmon and paternal grandmother, Margaret Weaks Mayer. Other family members are aunts and uncles, Pam and Bob Harmon, of Lexington and Luanne and Jim Mayer of Peak.
www.caughmanharmanfuneralhome.com

Tech Support?!

anybody have any idea how i can get the side bar to be in line the text on my blog ?

Benjamin and I rang the salvation army bell outside of walmart last night. His mama signed up to find people for the day and we were the 6:30 to 8:00 shift! The words "michelin man" come to mind... :)

Of couse we picked the freezingest day ever! We had on like 6 jackets-We look like we weigh about 400 pounds! I showed my kids today at school and they said, "Mrs. Ryan yall look fat!" haha- honesty is good i guess! :)

Looking for that "perfect gift?"

We all go around at Christmas time looking for just the right gift for our friends/loved ones to show them that we care about them and appreciate them. Well, if you've searched long and hard and still come up empty, a Klong may be just what you need. "It's for everyone!" You can get one for your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister, husband or wife. And they will really know how much you care about them. On the order page, click on the advertisement to the right to see more Klong benefits! Wow.

Click here to order.

"Next!"

Here's a deep, theological question for you:

It says in the Bible that
"God, [has] saved us and called us to a holy life—not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace [that] was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time..."
and that
"only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life"
will enter heaven.

So my question is: when the angel at the lamb's book yell's "Next-" do you think I should have them look me up by Jessica Hunter or Jessica Ryan?

this could have quite an impact!

Praise the Lord for the tree...

...in my neighbors yard
which he was walking behind
with his dog
in front of their house
across the street
where there were no cars
or kids
at the bottom of our inclined driveway
upon which our garage sits
where I park my car
that I got out of
and walked up the stairs
to punch the garage door button
only to look back and see

my car rolling out of the garage
down our inclined driveway
across the street
down the hill
into my neighbors yard
toward his house
where he was walking his dog
and into the tree.
Praise the Lord for the tree.

You must put your car in "Park" if you wish for it to remain that way.

Anybody looking to sell a good car?

Hurry and get here Turkey Day!

I am already ready already for Thanksgiving break! :) Here's a funny lil turkey day dance- turn up your music and listen. Click Here

A glimpse into my days at school...

Jason Grier had this (click here) very funny website link on his blog that lets you build yourself in legos! How fantastic! This is me at school... I wear my black Dansko shoes everyday or else my back is killin by the end of the day... lots of days a scarf.. around the waist or the neck... and most always I have my mug with hot tea. Jasmine green tea. With Splenda. Most days my hair starts off like this and ends up in a pony tail. Also, I keep my pencil in hand to mark down all the bad kids in my, "Ah-woo-woo" Behavior Log. It is getting quite full. Today, after the pep rally, I was walking in the crowded hall and somebody pulled my hair. Real Mature. Mmmm, I love high schoolers.

Thanks for the encouraging comments on the last post... I'm truckin along... report cards come out next week. I'm 1/4 of the way through the year! Yippee! :) I'm praying about next year. I love to teach, but I'm dying to get into a class with some Deaf kids. When they talk back it isn't quite as annoying. :) There's a job opening in Richland one teaching their middle school Deaf class. That'd be pretty sweet... except I'd have to drive 45 min. to work everyday. I'd spend my entire salary on transportation to and from! Oh well, it'll work out. The Lord is good like that.

one of those days

I walked into school at 7:30 this lovely Monday morning, to a parent standing at my door with her son. We spent about 30 minutes talking about how her son didn't finish my test and how I should've given him more time.

I wore my hair in braids today and walked out of my room first block to get some copies and hear one of my male students say, "what's up with her hair, she looks like she's from 1902!"

I spent all of my planning period second block on "Freetranslation.com" trying to type everything into the translator so that my new student, who happens to be Chinese and not speak one single word of English, would be able to have some sort of a clue what is going on around him.

I spent my entire lunch helping the same student try to open his locker with, what turns out was, the wrong combination.

Fourth block I was observed by an administrator and a man who our school paid a lot of money to come in and tell us how to do our "discipline plan" better. When they left, the student who was sitting in front of them, who could hear everything they were saying, proceeded to tell the class that they were talking about how I didn't do the discipline plan right.

A girl in the same class saw my Bible on my desk and attitudely asked, "Uuhhhh, are teachers allowed to have those?"

And I got my second paycheck. $691.70 I've been working since August 31 getting there at 7:30 and leaving at about 5:30 everyday.

Every sad, depressing song you can think of was on the radio when I drove home. I repeatedly told it to "be quiet" and turned the station until I finally turned it off. Listening to it was like pouring syrup on chocolate chip and caramel pancakes; just too much.

I think I'm gonna grab a book and turn in early tonight.

EEEEEEEKKKK!

Seeing as how I don't really have a whole lot of free time these days, i decided to seize this opportunity of a day off to clean out my garage which was still packed to the brim with boxes from college. So I start digging and I come across my basket of knitting things and as I was bringing them in, something squirmed out of the bottem, down my leg and under some other boxes. All I saw was a tail. And let me just say that I don't think I have ever gone to hoopin and hollerin the way I did when that think skidded down my leg.

Have you ever seen the commercial where the little toe nail fungus lefts up the nail and slithers in, his tail wagging behind... (eegghh) that is exactly what it looked like.

Turns out our garage had become infested with mice. EEeewwww! We had to take all the boxes out, dump out the contents in the front yard and Benjamin stood there with a shovel and pounded them into the ground. (He did a lot more than little bunny foo- foo)

And I thought roaches were bad...

Pyrex

So tomorrow is Game Day. Well, I guess it's today since it's 12:01. One of my favorite parts of football season is tailgating. I've written blogs before on food. It's just good stuff. I think it's neat how Jesus says we'll have a FEAST with him... as a Silars Bald song says, "We'll feast with the saints at His banqueting table and laugh with those that He's called his own..." I like that. It makes me excited and anticipatory (not sure that's a word).

So tonight I was getting ready for the Feast that is the beginning of the Clemson football season. I sat down, made my list and scooted off to Walmart to get some groceries. Well everybody and their BROTHER obviously thinks it's a good idea to get their weekly groceries at Walmart on friday night at 9:00. I read through an entire People Magazine while I was waiting in line to check out!

So I came home and was making one of my favorite tailgating treats: creamy crescents. Mmm, Mmm... they're tasty. And I was also (and therein lies the key to what prompted this late night blog) cooking some chicken to put in a dip for tomorrow. The chicken was done, so I moved it over to the other side of the stove and pulled the crescents out of the oven to cool. I set them on the stove and walked over to the sink to start on some dishes. I'm scrubbing away at the pots and there is this loud EXPLOSION behind me, and I think we've been bombed. Well, I turn around and my entire kitchen is covered in tiny bits of glass and my crescents are smoking on the front burner... I forgot to turn it off.

Apparently Pyrex wasn't made for the stovetop :)

(Random memory that just poppped into my head: When I was registering at Bed, Bath, and Beyond for wedding stuff, the guy was showing me around the kitchen section and was trying to sell me on this great OXO brand measuring cup. And I was trying to politely tell him that I didn't want to buy it and I said, "Oh, I already have a lot of Playtex... I don't think I need any more." He stood there a minute with this slightly embarrassed look on his face and we moved on... it wasn't til I got in the car that I realized what I'd said. Oh my.)

I'm still alive..

Yes, there have been reports that I have dropped off the face of the earth, but do not listen to them, I am still alive and kickin. Actually, I would define it more like this: alive and paddling. Yep. Paddling. I'm just trying to keep my head above water and paddling like crazy to do so! I never knew there would be a time in my life that I had no time. I mean, it's like monday morning when I step out of bed, somebody hits a stopwatch and says, "Go!," and it's a race 'til friday. The week feels like one long day without a break. I came home this past friday and went to sleep at 6:00 and woke up at 10:30 on Saturday morning. Can you say, "POOPED!?"

Teachers do not get paid near enough. Everybody always says that, but I mean it. It's ridiculous. A beginning teachers salary in SC is $28, 608. I am there at 7:15 every morning and it is rare that I leave before 6:00. And when I leave, I don't "leave." It comes home with me in some form or another. Papers to grade, lessons to plan, parents to call... it's insane, really. It blows my mind how people do this their whole lives. PLUS, I still haven't gotten paid. I am basically volunteering right now. New teachers don't get paid until Sept. 9th. (Unless you jumped through a hoop that I didn't realize you were supposed to jump through until it was too late) All that to say, I'm alive, but I don't quite have this whole "life" thing down pat yet. Each week gets a little smoother, but whew.. it's been a bumpy ride so far.

I don't know what I would do if it hadn't been for Benjamin. He's been my calming wind these past few weeks. Even now, it's precious to be to see how the Lord has blessed me with a husband who can calm my soul when it's all swirling. He's been so helpful and understanding about the "wifely duties" that I've been slack on.. He's been light-hearted and easy going. Last week he took me Kayaking down to Saluda river and boy did we have a ball. So the "marriage" part of life has been a delight and refreshing as I've entered into this world of "adulthood." I must say I did my fair share of complaining in collge about late-night studies and the like.. but now that I'm here, I must say the grass isn't as green as I thought it'd be... Maybe it's just different grass is all.. This life is about seasons I suppose.. each has their own positives and negatives. Each one is sweet in their own ways. This season is hard in one sense, because I am working very hard and without much rest, but I think the Lord is blessing me through it because if it was easy, I'd be depending on myself... now, I'm weak, and through that, He is strong. Praise Him!

Blogging really is theraputic for me.. so maybe I'll try and get back in the swing.. we'll see.. if you'd like to keep up with what I'm teaching my classes you can go to my beautiful (yeah right) website:
https://www.edline.net/pages/White_Knoll_High_School/Classes/322200CW-03
or this one for my physical science classes:
https://www.edline.net/pages/White_Knoll_High_School/Classes/321101HW-06

I am supposed to update them everyday... we'll see how that goes..

Benjamin's been walking around the house singing "Tiger Rag." We're so excited about going back up to Tiger town next weekend! He's excited about the football and I'm excited about seeing all the faces I've missed these past few months. It's going to be a fun time.. and my Dad and Mrs. J. are even coming... my Dad is especially thrilled about that! :) Life is good.. and I am not sure the ride is ever smooth. Maybe it was meant to be like this.. who likes to ride on a flat roller coaster?!

Why a roller coaster...?

...I don't know, but that is what I think about when I look at my life. But not the kind of roller coaster thought that relates to ups and downs. My roller coaster thoughts are little different. Here's my brain in an analogy:

It's "get-in-free-day" at Six flags amusement park, so everybody and their brother is there. Everybody is waiting in line to get on the awesomest roller coaster in the park, so naturally I am in line too. I've used up all my tickets and I can ride one more ride. As I'm in line for the awesome roller coaster, I'm looking around at all the other roller coasters that are there. They aren't the coolest ones, but each has a unique quality about it that I kinda dig. So after waiting in line for this incredible roller coaster that everybody else is dying to ride, I decide at the last minute to let somebody else go ahead of me and use my ticket on a different ride.

I am the worst second guesser that there ever was. I live my life this way and it drives me crazy. I wish someone could and would put a stop to the madness that is my decision making ability.

It's times like these I'm thankful for predestination. :)

This... is a rainbow maker. I bought it off ebay. It has a solar panel that generates electricty enough to turn the gears and spin the crystal. It creates little rainbows that spin and twirl and dance around my house. It is most delightful. :)

Here's our home. We live on cobbleview drive. I like the street name and the neighborhood! The boys had been living here for about 9 months... so the following pics are after there's been a womans touch :) And a lot of woman elbow grease as well :)

come on in...

I put up new curtains and bamboo blinds.. you can't really see the blinds cause it's daytime.. i want to get one of those fans with the big wicker fan blades... if I can talk B into it... we'll see :)

from the foyer into the living room

looking out of the kitchen

looking into the kitchen

our room

our bathroom

our closet. It took me a while to get it all organized and my husband consistantly tries to revert back to his old ways of closet keeping... piles

guest/ children (not for a while, hopefully!) rooms

guest bath

the back deck

The back yard... I always forget to water the ferns... and there will be flower bed eventually. And a vegetable garden. Yum!

My sweet sister Ashley came over and helped me transition my laundry room from drab to fab! We had a great time painting... we laughed the whole time. Some of the days discussion included: "wouldn't it be nice if paint cans came with little men." as well as "Do you think the guy at the paint store would take me seriously if I walked in and said, I would like to paint my kitchen the color of my toenails, can you hook me up?"

Almost done!

Yay! A downy blue laundry room! Bring on the dirty clothes!

I sure do love food :)

If there's one thing I despise, it's restaurant secrets. I love going out to eat. I don't like to do it all the time, cause I really do enjoy cooking and if you eat out all the time, it loses it's Pizazz and you start feeling fat. But every once in a while, it is fun to get all dolled up and go out to a nice restaurant. My latest favorite has been Carraba's. I think tonight was my fifth time going there, but I really love it. The first couple of times i went, I ordered the salad with my meal. Well, i soon learned that was a mistake, because the minestrone is the only way to go. I don't usually order soup over salad, and I can't remember what made me want to try it, but I did once, and now I'm hooked. be warned: it looks disgusting when they bring it to you, but mmm mmm, it is delicious. And my favorite thing to order is the Speidino de mare. It's shrimp that has been breaded and grilled. On the menu it says shrimp and scallops, but I always just ask for all shrimp and they appease me. And it's good to get it with Fettucine Alfredo on the side... that isn't on the menu either, but they'll give it to you if you ask. Well, back to the point: restaurant secrets. Another marvelous thing about carrabas is that they do the whole olive oil and bread dip combo thing. Now, at first, i didn't like it, cause I didn't know what I was doing, I'm not big on just bread and oil, but I quickly learned to sprinkle a little of the sea salt in there and dip the bread so as to scoop up some of the little herby stuff they put in there, and it is most fantastic! I asked what it was and they gave me a pretty good answer, but then at the end they said, plus we put in some secret spices that even the waiters don't know! WHAT! These people are feeding me stuff they don't even know the identity of?! Well, who cares, it's good. I mostly am huffy puffy cause i want the recipe. Also, there is this lovely little place in Lexington called Stephano's. They have the worlds absolute best chicken salad. I didn't like chicken salad til I tried theirs. You can buy it by the pint. It costs $9.00. (They think a lot of it too. ) Again, I ask the waitress what's in it, and all I got was "Dukes mayonaise and some secrets spices." What's up with the secrets these restaurants keep?! I won't even tell you about the time I made "olive Garden Chicken Marsala" from a recipe off the internet. Needless to say it did NOT taste the same! (I think I have a secret Italian affinity or something... I'm noticing a trend here.. ) Anyway...I guess it's what keeps me coming back for more.. I can't make it myself, so I gotta go there to get it... This might be a stretch to find something meaningful in an otherwise pointless blog, but I think i do the same thing with God. A lot of times I try to make a situation or circumstance reflect Him in a way that he just isn't in... It's those times when it's all Him and none of me.. when I go to him without money, without a"recipe", poor and begging that he satisfies me so fully. I can't make it myself. I don't know the recipe, and I've looked it up everywhere and it just isn't the same.. I think we often go to God and ask forgivesness for this or that... we repent and we think that is enough. The church teaches that, and I think it is partly true. But there is a large part that we are missing. We must repent not only of our sins, but also our self righteousness. We tend to say, "I'm sorry for my sins, I'll try to do better." Sometimes we say, "I'm sorry for my sins, with your HELP, I can do better." We must be poor before the Lord, acknowledging that it is ONLY Jesus that allows us audience with God the Father. There is a caedmons call song that says, "The best Obedience of my hands dares not appear before thy throne." Jesus's righteousness is all we have. Our best efforts at the recipe never quite match up to the real thing. Jesus is the only real thing. Blessed are those who Hunger and Thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied... mmm mmm, I'm Hungry!

some thoughts on marriage

My sweet friend Erin just posted a blog asking a question about "the one" that jogged my memory about a few thoughts I had about marriage. Last night I was thinking about Christ and the church and how marriage is supposed to teach me about that. You know, that is a really precious idea if you can get you mind around it, the fact that God gives us something to be able to understand the bigness and intricacy in a very real and tangible way of the relationship that he has with his people, the Church. So in Ephesians 5, it talks about how the husband is like Jesus and the wife is like the church.

This was the passage that Pastor Sinclair read in our wedding service and he asked the question, "How can a Holy God wed himself to such an un-holy people?" And when I think about marriage, I think about things like "double bouncing" and the like... being equally yoked and so forth. The Bible commands this. And to me, that is a big idea. To "find" someone who is this "perfect" or "near perfect" or "more perfect than the other people" person doesn't seem to me to be the way to think about it. Well, I'll tell you what, God didn't. He did not wed himself to a Church that was holy and blameless like himself. If he only cared to "marry" someone just like himself, God would have stayed "single" forever. So how did he do it? Jesus. Now, this is not the Sunday school version of that answer, but I do think it is applicable in how He loved us, the rotten group that we are, as well as how we can love another sinner all of our days. Jesus. Now, i am not saying go out and find the rottenest person you can and marry them, the Bible sets up a fence- they must be a believer- but within that fence, I, personally, do not think there is a "right" or a "wrong". I just see no scripture backing it up.

Here's the thought I had last night: Have you ever seen those cartoons or a tv show where there is a little guy who is standing there in a confrontation with someone who is a little bigger than them? Then all of a sudden, from behind the little guy, there comes a HUGE guy, but the little guy doesn't seen him, because he's behind him? But the middle sized guy DOES see him and realizes what he's up against and backs down because he fears the big guy?

Ok, that was an interesting way to tell that idea, but it was just a blurp of an idea anyway, the point is:

in trusting that the all Sovereign God who placed me at this moment in all of history gave me the family that he did in the place in the world that he did (all of which i had Zero control) and then led me along and along throughout life so that when i look back down my life road I see that it was Him pursuing me the whole time, not the other way around- He's Big. He's real Big. and I can trust my life to Him. I can trust that my husband, who is a sinner entrusted to lead me, is like the little guy. When I look at him, I see him, yes, but I see something much bigger than him, I see Jesus standing behind him, leading and guiding him. And why? Because he is in the fence. He is a believer and so no matter what, there is more to him than meets the eye.

To me, it's a matter of the big picture. I have been and am being sactified through my marriage because I have to trust that the God who is God over mine and my husbands life is bigger than any mistake or wrong turn or sin or whatever that either of us could make. I can trust my husband with our finances, my growth, our service to the world, whatever it may be, because as his wife, I am standing there looking at him and what do I see, I don't see a man standing alone I see the one behind him. I see my God who gave himself up for me.. who traded his perfect life for my sinful one that He may wed Himself to me.. an imperfect sinner who at the time didn't care one thing about Him. When I see what Jesus has done for me.. how he loved me, it enables me to love Him back so Big. But more than that, it enables me to love the dirty, sinful people in this world. Including the one to which I was wed. I am learning to be like Jesus because I am learning to trust the redeeming work of God in His marriage with the Church and in my own marriage.

I think there is "the one." And you know he/she is "the one" when you turn around and face the church and the pastor says, "I now pronouce you man and wife." Regardless of what has led up to that point, AT that point, he/she is "the one" and things could go any sort of up or down after that, but just like walking along the path of life, where God shines a flashlight at your feet and shows you just a step at a time, then you stop and turn around and see that he led you on each turn and bend. God didn't pick us because we are perfect. He didn't even pick us because we had some really good qualities. He picked us because we are dressed in Jesus. We have HIS righteousness on us- and when the Father looks at us, He sees Jesus's perfection. I can't help but think that on the day that we meet the father and he is giving out crowns, that there won't be a woman who receives a a beautiful crown for living her life becoming more like Jesus sumbitting to a husband who was not like him- does that mean she didn't marry "the one?" Forever she will live and love and know so intimately her precious redeemer, at the price of a life built on faith, not sight of Him- I don't think she would want it differently for eternity, and if you asked Him did she do the right thing, he may say yes or he may say no, but the best part is, HE did the right thing. He specializes in broken vases.

We went up to Pinehurst for a couple of days and stayed with my grandparents and parents in the RV. B and dad went to the US Open while us ladies found the cutest little shops... they put up a tent for us to sleep in... we referred to it as, "the condo" it was as spacious as the RV! i love rv-ing! :)

B wasn't satisfied with this picture, he insisted we take another one...

...so you can see the US open emblem... oh my...

Mrs. J and Grandmama in the "kitchen".. i tried to help out but there wasn't enough room!

Ash had a date on Sat. so I was helping her get her eyebrows in order while we were in the RV... the things females do tp be prettiful!

whoa- nice eyebrows

Benjamin loves this hat! Here he is cutting our jungle with his US Open hat on.. crazy thing!

sleeping with a boy...

has been interesting. I am learning all sorts of new things about the male species. But I do think my husband is unique in many ways, one of which being that he talks in his sleep. When I say "talks in his sleep, " I don't mean mumble. I mean all out conversations. The funniest part is that he thinks that what he is says makes sense AND he responds to my questions while talking in his sleep. So the night we got back from Pinehurst, I wake up to his saying "OWW!" and it startled me and I was like, "B, are you ok?! What happened?!" and he's got his hand in front of his face as if he were holding something and he says frustratedly, "I just poked myself in the eye putting my hat on..." I couldn't fall back asleep because I was laughing so hard!

a lil polyp

Christian radio in the morning is an interesting phenomenon. Every now and again you'll hear something that's pretty good. This morning the girl on there said, "Some flowers grow better in the sun and some grow better in the sheade, you have to trust that God has placed you where you'll grow best!" That's a good thought, I think. Billy Graham has preached the gospel to more people than anyone else in the history of the world... that is amazing! With TV and radio and all, he's just been broadcast farther than anybody else ever.. i think they said he has spoken in front of something like 20 million people. How wonderful?! If you get a chance, look at the June 22 Streams in the Desert It's really good in my opinion.

I really wonder if I will
a- ever finish unpacking
or
b- ever finish writing thank you notes.

there's about a bazillion pictures here.. if you'd like to see them all.. click on june 2005 under archives on the right hand side of the screen and it will display them all..

Here's the folks who made me-- I love them all so much.. they gave me the wedding of my dreams.. thank you so much! i love you!

Rehearsal dinner!

kell rolled her hair 8 times the day of my wedding! your hair looked beautiful kell! :)

Bec was just chillin before hand...i'm B's #1 and she's his 1.5... she's confident in her position!

aw!

sweet little flower girl, Hannah Rose.. she walked all the way down the aisle, dropped one petal at the end, then went back to pick it up... she's 3 1/2, I'm just proud she made it down the aisle! Ash had a sucker in her bouquet for her once she got down to her! It worked!

my grandmama shirley... i think mrs. j looks sweet in the background!

she was almost a moore then, and now she is one!

layney layney

My sister Ashley was the best maid of honor anybody could ask for... i always knew she was cool, but she really proved to be incredible on my wedding day! thanks, ash! i love you!

Ash re-titled herself to "slave of honor" here she is doing her duties! :)

Almost there!

The ring bearer, yeah, he's a stud!

I had the prettiest bridesmaids ever!

my daddy-o! I always thought he was the strongest man in the world!

Aw, my sweet fam!

I've always loved my Aunt Missy! Thanks for all these pics! :-*

It's sparkling grape juice :)

a toast, to us! :)

We couldn't quite figure out how to cut the cake.. you should practice that part at the rehearsal!

Ash and Aunt Missy.. I have the prettiest family!

We had a chocolate fountain at our reception, but I never got to see it! :( Glad somebody took a picture! :) Looks yummy! It went well with the ice cream bar! :)